"That was not backing me up," Charlie said as they walked toward the bus stop. "What you did back there? That is not being a good wing-man."
"Maybe I'm just not a good wing-man?" Jen replied.
"That's not it and you know it," she insisted. "You know I like Sam but you told Susan that he was totally into her, which by the way is a total lie because he doesn't even look at her. What if she asks him out because you said that? What if he says yes? Why would you do that to me?"
Jen shrugged.
"Are you even listening to me?"
"It's going to rain," Jen said absently, peering up at the sky. Charlie stifled a frustrated growl.
"Jen, you always do this!" She cried. "Why are you so immature? I'd have a better friendship with a toddler. I'd have a more meaningful conversation with an ATM."
"I can be meaningful." She sounded hurt, but not for the right reason, Charlie thought.
"Not when it's important, Jen, and that is the prob-"
"I told you it'd rain!" She interrupted, holding out her hand to catch the first few drops of evidence. "Didn't I say it would rain?"
They ran the last few metres to the bus shelter, sitting perhaps a little further apart than they normally would have.
"I think this is a bigger problem than you realise," Charlie said finally, with a sigh.
"Why?"
"How can we be best friends if you can't even pay attention when I'm talking to you? Let alone back me up against boyfriend-stealing bitches like Susan Macleod?"
"He isn't your boyfriend, Charlie."
"Well he should be."
A bus rattled past and they peered after it in the dying sunlight.
"That wasn't ours, was it?" Charlie asked, as ever paranoid that one day their bus would not stop for them.
"Nope, that was the Glenelg bus."
"Good. But seriously. How could you not remember that I liked him? How long have I been talking about him for, now?"
"A couple weeks."
"At least!"
"Only just. Before that it was Mark, and before him it was Sean, and Michael, and Hayden..."
Charlie glared at her.
"Are you calling me fickle?""Pretty much," Jen replied cheerfully. The rain was getting heavy - she splashed her feet in the little puddles that were growing beneath the bench.
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11 comments:
This was adorable.
Please don't ask me why, it's just one of those stories you enjoy to read because it's easy, simple and you can relate :)
'Jen and Charlie' stories tend to be just like that (easy, simple, relateable) and that is why I still love writing them. Though I mainly write them for my friend, it feels so personal that using them for 'official' writing doesn't seem to work.
I'm glad you liked it though - obviously it's unfinished, what would you think if I handed this up at uni? Do you think it would actually be good enough quality (with a little revision of course)?
I'm very nervous about this assignment!!!
(lol)
It depends what the assignment was about and what you're worried about.
The assignment is: 750 word short story, only two characters, about a conflict between them. Must be set in contemporary Adelaide.
I'm nervous about a)handing writing up to actually be graded, b)if it's any good (because as the writer I'm just not the person to judge that!) and c)that I will have to not only have it read and critiqued by my classmates, I will also have to read it out loud to them.
I have about zero self-confidence as you can probably tell!
For originality, I give like a two. No offense, but Lifetime movies do this story-line and nickelodeon and all of the above. I know you care about that, but yeah.
Secondly, well, I think it's well written for the aspect you're going for: teenage. it fits perfectly, not too hard, not too overridden with big words, it flows like a young teen novel.
Thirdly, I don't know why in the hell you'd be nervous. You have this distinct writing style. I could probably read a hundred stories and pick yours out the moment I read the first sentence. Of course, I live in America and our writing style compared to Australians does differ. I think it does when I read mine compared to yours.
I know you DON'T care about that*
Sorry, I'm so tired, haha
I wouldn't say I "don't care" EXACTLY, because I think every writer wants to be original sometimes. But I also believe firmly in the fact that everybody deserves to explore themes for themselves, whether or not it has been 'done' before.
I had never really considered who the audience would be, but of course it's a teen story. It's written by a teenager about teenagers, who else could I aim it at? So that is a bonus :)
I hope by 'distinctive style' you mean that in a GOOD way? Because there are some writers with distinctive styles but they still suck... although I'm sure you wouldn't mean it that way?
Haha, if you sucked, I would in no way comment or read this blog or tell other people about it.
I'm very blunt.
A very big compliment indeed!
I will remember you when I'm famous ;)
But on a serious note, your support means a lot to me, I don't have a lot of people who do this (have you noticed? ha ha), which makes you even more special :)
No problem, chickadee.
I always try to help everyone I really, really like :D
Because how is an artist supposed to know if he/she is good if NO ONE comments?
It's true, that's why artist's needs feedback. And writer's too. Because if they're doing it that way they don't know where it's going wrong?
I will take that as a compliment :D
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