Requirements

Maude was nine when she realised that all the main characters in the really good stories were orphans. She wasn't entirely sure why this was. Did have your parents die make you into a more heroic (or villainous!) person? Was it a requirement? Were there people keeping an eye on who was dying, ready to assign adventures to the unfortunate children as a kind of consolation prize?
Over breakfast one morning she informed her parents that she was ready to be orphaned.
"I can't start having adventures until you both die, you know," she told them, with her best 'you are breathing pretty selfishly right now' frown. For a moment they were silent, and the only sound was Baby Laurence mashing his cereal into their father's hair.
Her mother laughed - unconvincingly, Maude thought - and made a joke to her father about monitoring what their daughter read. Her father suggested they enrol her in an after-school class in something that wouldn't give her Any Ideas. Something like pottery, he said, spooning cereal from his hair back into Laurie's bowl. Laurie threw his spoon onto the floor.

Maude realised then that of course they would never understand the necessity of their impending deaths. She resolved not to speak to them about it again.